It is 10:50 am and I have been working at a serious pace since 7:30 am. So far, we have run 11 miles, 3 sets of stairs, 5 runs up the steepest hill in town, 30 burpees, 30 clap pushups, 200 weighted pullups, 400 weighted pushups, and 600 weighted squats (2 Murphs and a bunch of running). I have already consumed and sweated out over a gallon of water, but right now, I am just staring at a barbell and wondering if I can pick it up.
The barbell was 155 pounds and was the single implement to a classic CrossFit hero workout called DT. With this single 155 pound barbell, DT calls for:
12 Deadlifts
9 hang power cleans
6 Jerks
x 5 rounds for time.
The workout is simple, effective and punishes athletes who have neglected olympic lifting strength in favor of endurance or gymnastics. DT is hard for me when fresh, and I am anything but fresh right now. Over the past few years, I have completed this workout and logged 8 results on my digital workout journal, each with steady improvement from the time before, but it still hurts…a lot...every time. This is precisely the reason that I find myself just staring at a motionless 155 pound barbell in my driveway at this moment. It was there for a reason, a serious challenge placed strategically within a long workout to see how we would react.
I walked around a bit, drank more water, even changed shoes and tried to find the switch in my head that would allow my mind to overtake my body… but it was hiding.
Finally, I decided to take things one step at a time. I would try to complete just the deadlifts. I did 11 deadlifts, but each one was brutally hard for me. My hip flexors were screaming, my knees creaking and my entire upper body revolting in pain. It was heavy, really heavy. After a break, I decided to try to deadlift the final rep and go into the hang cleans. I was barely able to hold onto the bar and dropped it immediately after 8 reps. It was strategic. I did 8 because I knew I would have to clean it the 9th time to get to the jerks. Patrick was next to me and started on his cleans. He was not able to clean the Rx weight of 155 lbs and quickly dropped to 135 pounds. Keith dropped to 95 pounds and was on the other side of me. (I am a little ahead of Patrick, Mike and Keith in Olympic lifting. To my knowledge, none of them had done a DT at 155 lbs so they scaled back to the weight that challenged them equally to my 155 lbs.) Doubt crept in. I did not think I could complete this workout at 155 pounds and thought that I would also drop to 135 pounds. Matt Green was my swim buddy and he is very strong. Matt would have no trouble with this workout so I decided to try the Jerks and just make it through 1 round before reducing the weight. I picked it up, cleaned it and managed 6 ugly jerks before dropping. 1 round complete. Matt grabbed the weights and moved them like a PVC pipe. Feeling better, I decided to give the deadlifts for round 2 one more shot and completed them.
“Ok, that went ok, so Ill try the cleans.” a voice said inside my head.
Surprisingly, I did get 8 cleans this time. Then the Jerks. It was heavy and I really didn’t think I could do it, but I kept chipping away. Any concern over the amount of time it would take me to finish was gone. This was survival. Before I knew it, I had turned the corner from serious doubt to acceptance that I was not going to reduce the weight, but complete this as written. Finally, I found the switch.
This moment was the best part of the day for me and the entire purpose of this extreme workout for all of us. Rarely in today's society do many have the opportunity to voluntarily face something that looks impossible and choose to take on the challenge. For some people this impossible challenge may have been a 5k run, a yoga class or a single Murph. I can certainly remember the first time I ever saw "Murph" written and wondered if it would be possible for me to complete it.
“Could I possibly Run a mile and then do 100 pull-ups, 200 pushups, 300 squats and run another mile all while wearing a 20 pound weight vest?” I wondered.
Eventually, I did complete a few Murph workouts which increased our confidence and we later strung 2 of them together. With that challenge complete, I wondered if I could do 3 in a row. I decided to do a Triple Murph for my 45th birthday and a bunch of us, including my 16 year old son completed the entire workout. We continued adding to the challenge with the hope that we would have the opportunity to be in exactly the same position as I found myself this morning while preparing to lift 155 pounds. Each of those challenges were completed and with each victory came increased confidence that we could use that experience to accomplish anything using the same strategy as Murph, Double Murph and Triple Murph. The way to get through all of those is simply one rep at a time. Never quit, never look at the entire workload, never get overwhelmed. Simply do one more round, one more pullup, one more pushup or one more squat and soon, you will have accomplished this giant thing that seemed like a complete impossibility just 2 hours before. A 50 hour camp run by Navy Seals called SealFit Kokoro taught me that when you feel like you have given it all, we are capable of 20x more than we think we can do. With this philosophy, I have been able to start businesses, win tournaments, build teams, lead my family and make it through 50 hours of training on a cold California beach at an intensity similar to today’s workout.
DT, however, presented a slightly different challenge for me. Most of the other challenges were endurance related but upon picking up this weight, I did not seem to be physically strong enough to complete 1 round, much less 5 rounds. I had done this workout many times before… but always fresh. However, I began to think that if I could do it fresh, there was no reason that I couldn't do it now and I broke it down in my mind as to how this could be possible. While a 155 lb hang clean or Jerk is very heavy for me, a 155 lb deadlift is not. So, why not just get the deadlifts out of the way and then see how the cleans go. If I had focused only on the cleans or become overwhelmed by the looming 5 rounds, I would have given up right then. Once the deadlifts were complete, I didn’t rush it. I dropped the weight on the ground, got some water, chalked up and tried the hang cleans. As with so many other things, what seemed like it was going to be impossible actually wasn’t. It was certainly difficult but not impossible. Soon, I was chipping away at a goliath obstacle one rep at a time. The turning point to this stage of the workout and to so many things in life was when I committed to completing this workout. No more thoughts about reducing the weight. It might be slow and ugly, but the work was going to be completed if it was the last thing I ever did. This is the key to accomplishing anything of value in life and this lesson is amplified in physical training through sweat, grit, pain and misery. These same feelings are available when starting a business or making a difficult parenting decision, but they are never more clear or obvious than when using your mind to overcome the storm of pain going on inside your body to complete something that seems physically impossible. It is a cathartic experience.
With a piece of sidewalk chalk I made another hash mark on the driveway; four rounds complete…I knew I had it. The last and final round felt better than the first and I was more confident than at any other time of the morning. It didn’t matter if it was ugly or slow, I was going to finish … one rep at a time.
At 11:16 am I dropped the barbell onto the driveway for the final time and felt a sense of accomplishment having faced the challenge and pushed through. I still had a mother of a workload to go to complete today’s workout but it was all downhill now.
By the end of this workout we will have completed:
13+ miles of running
1.3 mile Assault Bike
2000 m Row
2000m Ski
300 pullups-200 of them weighted
600 pushups-400 of them weighted
900 squats-600 of them weighted
155 burpees
60 Deadlifts @ 155
45 Hang Power Cleans @ 155
30 Push Jerks @ 155
30 clap pushups
25 Waterball over the shoulder
8 runs up Woodhill
5 Tire Flips
5 runs up the steepest hill we can find, Kent
3 Stair runs
At this point in the workout, my mind was right, and nothing would stop me. The experience of overcoming this doubt in myself was worth this entire year’s training and I gained as much out of it as finishing SealFit Kokoro. A group of friends had come together to wish one of our own goodbye and good luck. There was no better way to say those things than to break down the body so we could open up the mind. The ones who had done the work to prepare their bodies for this test and then overcame all the voices of doubt and insecurity finished this giant physical challenge. Each of us had to face those voices and each of us had to go to a very dark and lonely place to figure out just exactly what we were made. Then, one final step had to be taken and that was to go directly into the fire and commit to finishing, no matter what.
As I accumulate more experience and overcome more self imposed obstacles like this one, it becomes harder to achieve a cathartic experience like flipping that switch on this day. The challenges become bigger, longer, more difficult but the rest of things in life become easier. So to answer so many of my friends and relative’s questions about “Why are you doing this?” That is why.
Today…mission accomplished.
